Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Patricia and Patricia went for a walk

If it isn't clear to the few lurkers of this blog, something has changed.

I am trying to bring Rolling on the floor laughing back, but I don't know if it is still there. I mean, I am laughing lots and lots and lots: YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I am enjoying little things that you wouldn't believe. Jamil is thankfully quite amused by all of it. This morning this moron lady changed lanes in front of me, past where the turn lane line becomes solid, with no indicator on and proceeded to break on a yellow so we missed the green turn light: I did not honk (gasp).

Actually, I wanted to for a minute, but then I thought "it is just as well that I sit here in my car on the road and enjoy my morning drive since I do not get to drive so much anymore". 25 year old Patricia screams in my ear: Seriously, WHAT?! C'mon, get a grip Patricia". 16 year old Patricia claps twice and says "Goody yes, maybe let's also skip work and go for a long drive, we have waited so long to do this". 5 year old Patricia thinks "Look! special edition, I wonder why her car is special edition, why is it special? how many special ones are there? what does the regular edition look like? that's a pretty green color hanging there!" 3 year old Patricia, meanwhile sucks her thumb intrigued by a very familiar smell in the car, it makes her smile.

In an effort to bring funny back, here is some other Patricia arguments:

Which ice cream flavor?
Strawberry of course. 22 year old screams: Jake's chocolate slap yo' mama. 10 year old says nothing like chocolate, 7 year old remembers good bean ice cream and 5 year old does not really like any of it.

About my pre-packaged lunch?
If I never eat Hormel again it will be too soon. 20yo: Hey, that solves the problem with the fridge space, awesome, no refrigeration... if only there was a rice with cheese one. 14yo: Why, Patricia, that does not look like rice and beans and while we like to try new things, rice is not supposed to be soupy wet. I thought we were going to step up from cafeteria food. 10yo: Whew, then we can put all $2 in our pocket to buy a nice present for someone special instead of wasting it on ketchupped burgers, maybe we can go to the craft store and buy some materials to make some stuff. 5yo: Can I just have milk instead? I really like the brown warm chocolatey stuff flowing from the bottle. The bottle has cool numbers, some are really big and some are small and they are on either side and when you scratch your fingernails on them it makes a cool sound and it feels nice. 2yo: I am never ever eating again, people who eat get fat. Look at grandma's pastor and all the people from church.

On going to the gym/excercising:
We must and we will! 20yo: Never, ever ever... I will play some roller hockey though with the guys on Curran Deck. 16yo: Ummm, remember we tried to avoid this? It causes injury and pain and we... ok we used to not need it... you have gotten a little chubby though, but still NO GYM can't we just walk downtown instead? 11yo: What and get hurt like the time with the baseball bat or the time with the basketball or the time with the volleyball? 4yo: Must conquer the monkey bars, we only got to the third one remember? 3yo: Can we ride the bike instead? I like playing better and you seem to have finally got the no wheels bit down, why risk forgetting?

On work and what I do for a living:
Pays the bills. 23yo: it will do until we figure out what we want. 17yo: great, found a way to be on the computer 24/7, I knew you could do it! I bet you are making friends all over the world! 12yo: I hope you get to program a lot and play Carmen San Diego, but exactly how are you going to make a better world on the computer again? 9yo: I bet you are really good at them fractions and conjugations and that's how you got the job. 7yo: Wow, and do you get to see how they make stuff? 5yo: You do what? Aw, c'mon. That is the best you can come up with? At least be the guy who puts the pills in a bottle but the lady who sits far away on a desk... c'mon! 3yo: But we liked flying, remember? What happened with all the flying? We also like hotels, remember the room service and the big bed and the TV and sleeping with the light on?

And what is my favorite color?
How the heck do you wake up one morning and not know what is your favorite color? Yet, I cannot name one!! 3: blue, 4-5: brown and black, 6-18: blue, ~19-20: yellow (RIP Jose Miguel) and Orange, briefly at 20: red and then I just don't know. I do like my eggs fried over medium with some sodium bicarbonate for the digestion. All Patricia's scream: yea, them tummy aches are no fun, but giving up chocolate/worrying/hot dogs/brownies/milk/fried food/eggs is no fun.

So that is it, my attempt at not boring you to death. WAKE UP!! WAKE UP!! WE ARE ALMOST DONE, WAKE UP!

I don't actually hear voices, but it is fun to try on someone else's perspective for a chance especially if it is a younger you. It helps figure out where you are going. Hopefully, one day, 70 year old Patricia will look back, smile, be in touch with the lives she has touched and the people she allowed to touch her heart, sigh, close her eyes and exhale the name of the most beautiful color in the world. Even better, she will ask two very important questions that we should all ask ourselves: Was it worth it? Are we proud of our work? and 70 Patricia's all of different ages will smile and scream in unison: YES! and YES! We are working to ensure God joins in on the second one.

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