Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Shoelaces vs. Velcro

A long time ago, Patricia and I had an interesting argument - "Are shoelaces more dangerous than velcro?" Like most of our "arguments," neither of us really cared, and were merely using the argument to justify another decision - namely, whether I should be allowed to wear velcro shoes or not. I like velcro shoes - they are convenient, easy-to-wear, look nice, and make a neat sound when you undo them. Plus you don't get "untied" easily, and have to deal with bending down to tie them (as well as strangers telling you "hey - your shoe is untied" - even though technically, it is the shoeLACE that is untied - how do you tie a shoe?). You can even change the style of how you wear them (hmmm... shall I keep the straps straight or cross them today?)

Patricia, on the other hand hates velcro shoes. She thinks they look hideous and unprofessional, and should only be worn by children (who can't tie their shoes) and the elderly (who can appreciate the convenience even more).

So, of course, I "justified" my wearing velcro shoes (for the record, I don't wear velcro shoes anymore) by saying that shoelaces are dangerous - they can be used to strangle people; they can trip someone at the worst possible moment, sending them to their death over a cliff or by getting hit by a car. (Nevermind that shoelaces are also dirtier than velcro, as anyone who has visited a men's restroom with untied shoes will note.)

Patricia, of course, joined in on the argument, saying that velcro was more dangerous. Like many of our "disputes" we "solved" it with a google search. Of the two phrases "velcro death" and "shoelace death", whichever received more hits on google would be the more dangerous. (Of course, this method of solving our argument is not logical or accurate, but neither of us cared - it is enough to decide how to determine a winner of the argument. Heck, I'm sure we would even go for coin flipping on some of our "arguments.")

The results? The phrase "velcro death" received many more hits, and thus velcro was deemed more dangerous. (Apparently, velcro death was the name of a band.) Today, the phrase STILL gets more hits, although I don't see any mention of the band in the 1st 20 results. People just have a fascination with the word velcro and the word death, I guess - because none of the results seem to actually be a death caused by velcro.

Anyway, today I found a patent for a shoelace warning system. Now, I ask you (the reader), would you need a warning system for velcro being "untied"? I think not! Hence, velcro must be superior to shoelaces! =)

Note: This is the part where some geeky reader decides to search the patent office for patents involving velcro, and links to them in the comments... :-P