Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ode to Corporate America

Legal Disclaimer: The following is supposed to help you who are bound to work until you are 65 either smile, chuckle or sigh... It should not be taken seriously, used as fuel for making career decisions or execute accusations of any sort. Corporate America is a trade mark of the United States. The words below have been produced by an anonymous person of unknown identity to us and whose existence we doubt and does not express the opinions of these bloggers or anyone associated with this blog. You may therefore not contact our legal department with questions.

Can't live with you
Can't live without
that sweet fresh pay-stub
the money in the bank account.

Your path is erratic
yet so certain your walk
your ways sometimes barbaric
are like air to my lungs.

Ode to great corporate America
commander of this capitalist nation
provider of many a benefit package
enabler of the American money-pocket relation.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows--NO SPOILERS HERE

I'm done reading it! What a journey!! 7 books is a lot of pages. If you get a chance listen to the audiobooks. Jim Dale's narration has made my reading journey ten times more pleasant and made it easy to get through the details, it is an experience superior to any movie you can watch and it adds a bunch to the repeat reading experience.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Public Restroom ethics and Contradictions

It has been bothering me for a couple of weeks this matter of public restrooms. To begin with, the whole process of eliminating body waste is weird. It is quite silly that there are orifices in our body that when exposed let out stuff that while perfectly fine or perceptually clean inside is absolutely gross once it is out. It is also very strange that while draining other liquids in the body through other orifices is not acceptable in public spaces (think mucus, saliva, sweat), somehow it is normal to free up poop and urine out of the body even multiple times a day in a very casual manner. Some people even talk while visiting John in the porcelain throne.

As if this was not odd enough, it is somehow not ok to be naked or exposed in front of others, but isn't it silly that it is ok to uncover part of your most private privates in a space considered public, where your only separation from others is 3 walls less than an inch thick? Then, the air is shared, so that while you sit there in you supposed isolation the air you breathe mixes with the air someone else released? Or how about all the people that sprinkle when they tinkle and did so before you went there? Even worse, if they are neat and wipe the seat, you will not know but residue and bacteria of others' liquids might share in with some of your own or your own body if you seat (the thin paper cover is not water-proof).

This brings me to my next point. Public Restrooms are weird enough as they are, by definition so you should learn your Public restroom ethics. I cannot tell you how many people I encounter day after day during my visits to the restroom that do not understand how awkward it is to be in the restroom with others. As if going to the restroom was not enough, going while there's others around listening to the free flow or wild explosions is enough to be busy not thinking about to also have to stare at someone's shoes. Shoes, the constant reminder that the wall is less than an inch thick and someone's filthy air is mixing with the air you breath. It would all be better if we all followed some simple rules:
1. If there is a splash, go out come back later, Mary does not want to create a show and you do not want to be near Mary.
2. If a stall is taken when you go into the restroom, it is NOT ok to create a splash. Yes it is a natual activity and all that, but the mere akwardness of exposing not half of your body but just the bottom section should indicate this experience should not be shared.
3. If you must go now and you recognize my shoes, please go on another floor so I don't have to think about this everytime you shake someone's hand or I have to touch your computer.
4. If you wear tampons do not shake anyone's hands, touch the locks, touch the faucet or even the restroom door. You hands are banned for no more than 7 days to prevent the ever disgusting ever present random red marks on the stall doors near lunch time.
5. If you violated rule number 4, do not wipe your mark, leave it as a warning to the poor souls coming after you.
6. There should be, at all times, one stall between you and the nearest person to you.
7. If the only bathroom mirror is in front of some stalls, you cannot look at yourself longer than 15 seconds somone might be about to explode waiting for you to move.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

The New York I didn't imagine existed

Unlike what might be your first assumption based on my title, I do know and did know New York is not all like New York city. I just didn't expect a little town or a couple of little towns including the land (or part of the land) of the Mohawk nation from where the hairstyle name arises. It blows my mind!!

1. It took me a whole 8 hours to get to it (granted I did not take a non-stop flight).
2. Cell phone reception in the area is almost 0. I had no signal even while roaming.
3. We carpooled to a restaurant in the nearby town of Massena because we were worried parking wouldn't be enough.

The place was actually delightful. I worked with some very smart people. Everyone was extremely friendly and extremely knowledgable and proudof their work. We even had some absolutely delicious Italian food.

But the wooden houses, some in really bad shape, the countles farmlands (whether they were or not used for farming), the amazingly high ratio of Casino's to restaurants totally threw me off. I don't think I would come back as a tourist, but I am glad I got to see this place!

Here is a picture courtesy of google, albeit an off-season one:

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Our Christmas Tree--- This is NOT an April Fool's Joke

I am writing about this today because I think this would be a funny April Fool's joke if it wasn't real, but unfortunately the following story is true:

We cut our own Christmas Tree with my family when they cam in town on December 16th, but went on vacation from December 29th to January 8th. Now, I am new to Christmas in the states and Jamil is new to the concept of a real Christmas tree. That is to say that without any notices, memories or being able to see what our neighbors did, we have taken the ornaments down from the tree, but not the tree itself.

This sounds silly, but we have had our fair share of encounters with our HOA (Home Owners Association) over strange things on our lawn (like weeds and brown grass and not enough mulch). The last we wanted was a letter from the HOA about how we have a tree siting on our curb, or how the garbage guys cannot pickup organic stuff or how the lawn trash people do not pick up Christmas tree about some date X.

What does it all add up to?

Well, Jamil who was in charge of disposing of the tree over the first weekend we were back from Christmas vacation but during which I would be out of town, points out today that he thinks the tree is finally dead. Now, I am no scientist but having figured the tree was probably dead close to the time it was cut down, I asked how he knew. His response: "It is not driking the water anymore". That's right folks, he has never watered the lawn, or my poor and now dead banana plant, but he has been watering the Christmas tree up until late March when he has determined the tree is dead. In January he excused it as the Three Kings tree, in February it was a love tree with some fetility explanations that almost made me chop down the tree immediately, in March it was green like St. Patty's day, but I don't think using the verse about Jesus having been nailed to a tree will do here.

I will try to take a picture to prove this is not an April Fool's joke, but does anyone know how to get rid of a Christmas tree in April without offending the HOA? We already have enough weeds to also explain a Christmas tree on the curb which is too organic for trash pickup and too big for either the little recycling bin or the little Home Depot brown bags? Or is there anyone out there that wants some free fertilzer? How about a discounted Christmas tree you can use next Christmas?

I wonder if it would make it until next Christmas so we can throw it out with everyone else's trees?

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Patricia needs

Thanks to my "tocaya" buddy Patricia Polacco whoever she may be, and google (the website of all answers) I have finally found out what I need in life:

"Patricia needs a full service hotel that includes room service or a restaurant attached to the hotel. You are responsible for the costs of breakfast, lunch, and supper."

Wanna find out what you need? Google: "<your name> needs" (don't forget the quotations and don't leave the > and < signs in once you put your name in). Why don't you start with John (google "John needs")?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Fark TV makes it to Digg's front page!

An article proclaiming the launch of Fark TV (one of Super Deluxe's artists - "the walking/talking version of") has made it to Digg's front page! I like two of their episodes quite a bit: Homeless Soccer and Eric Bell.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Super Deluxe goes live!

Yay! The website I've been working on at work (Super Deluxe) has gone live today. Go check it out. Beware, though, some of the content is mature/edgy. What is Super Deluxe? It is a comedy website -- think of it as a YouTube or GoogleVideo where all the uploaded videos are funny, and add in some editorial content (in other words, not *just* user-generated stuff.) If you register, feel free to add me as a contact -- let me know who you are (if I know you), and that you saw my blog post. =)