In a few days it will be a year from the day that I set foot on my short lived stint at my previous company with the oh so awesome commute. That date coincides somewhat with the beginning of an unexpected journey of introspection and revision of my life. A journey of discovery and correction. A journey into a lot of new adventures, a ton of learning about myself and the world around me.
Looking back, it is somewhat scary. Although I have been very frustrated by the twists and turns that life has taken sometimes suddenly and although I have often grown disappointed at the things I have been learning or more the ways of the teacher I have to say I am glad. As often as I wished I would know where I was going, I am glad I didn't because I think I would have chickened out before learning the due lessons.
God has provided the right support in many ways. People have been placed in my path. Some that I can look up to, some that I can learn from, some that I can imitate and some that are counterexamples. Some people have come to teach a lesson and left just as quickly to open my mind and spirit to the next teacher. Resources have been provided to traverse the tough road. Some resources I have been provided with plenty of time, some with short notice, some have been for my benefit and some have had a lesser known or not as expected benefit of sorts. There has been obstacles and smoothly paved roads and this and that.
I am not done, haven't reached the end. I had the opportunity to visit with a friend this last weekend. It was unplanned, unexpected and halfway insane. It also will go down in my book as one of the best times ever. It blows my mind that without having gone through this journey we would have never met and it blows my mind how important this friendship has been throughout this time and how it has blossomed from a very small remote possibility. I hadn't thought about this journey in a long time, but I was reminded of it the minute I landed.
Since, I have done some crosschecks and some revisiting. The outlook of another x amount of time through this journey is scary. But, I look around at my life (blessings, hardships, joys and tears), the people in it (some new, some old, some re-acquainted, all awesome), the lessons learned (tough and easy but all valuable), etc... and I have to conclude that I stand to win more than I stand to lose. It doesn't erradicate the fear, it doesn't make me run for it, but it is encouraging. And it reminds me that whatever life may look like at any point in time, God is true to His promises and God is true to me and continues to be on my corner. I am not perfect, but I look at the work He has done in my life over the last year and as much nostalgia as there is for what was and what isn't any longer, there is rest in knowing that it is right... in Him.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
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